Dear Alter Ego,
I don’t even know what that means, an alter ego. Altar ego?
At the altar of one’s ego? I don’t know what that means either and there’s no
use being clever about it, since there isn’t anything clever knocking about in
this mind. It’s been spent, all spent. There’s nothing but desiccation and
fatigue. Absolute fatigue. Probably shouldn’t have chosen the meal with the
lack of protein. Again. That was a
clear mistake.
Problem is, although I may know that, it doesn’t seem to
have any effect at all on my behavior. If I feel that I would like something
soft and chewy like a quesadilla with little protein or any other nutritional
value for that matter, well then by gum I’m going to do that! To hell with the
consequences a few days hence.
Excuse me...a momentary respite while I engage in more
online window shopping. Shoe shopping to be specific. I find that shoes are an
even greater draw for me than handbags, though I am a bit obsessive about those
used bags. A triumph over price when I can find a used designer bag.
I digress. That’s me, digression. Digression with a bit of
scattered thrown in. Wait, isn’t that the same thing?
I think I’ll get rid of Christy’s number, too. She hasn’t
called in ages. She used to do that. But not anymore. And I think that Guy’s
observation that there has been no effort on other people’s part goes for her,
too.
Although I’ve tried several times, it has come to naught. So there you
are. Down to 73 people on my phone. And whittling away even further. That will
be good, at least.
Wait...another momentary foray into the world of online shoe
shopping. If it were just one of those average sites hosted in the US, well,
there wouldn’t be much of a draw. But the European site. That’s different.
Honestly, I should stop this. It isn’t helping, this whole
writing bit. I’m past that stage of early twenties writing development, when I
think that being emotional of the diarrhea-cum-self-pitying variety is
equivalent to good writing.
And the idea that writing can replace a good therapist, a la
Victor, is a laugh. Ha. See? I laughed.
This isn’t helping. I’m tired. I’m sweaty. I need to bathe.
Purpose. Direction. Going now.
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