This theme of emotional good fortune is really on my mind of late as our monetary fortunes decline. My husband's unemployment just ended and his field of architecture has laid him off for a total of three of four years. Honestly I have no idea how we will pay the rent this month.
From past experience, like the second time he was laid off after Miss Jiggle Butt was born, I know that my husband gets depressed. He functions but he becomes victimized by his old, now maladaptive behaviors he relied on when he was stressed as a boy. As most people do. They revert.
It's fatal for our relationship and for his relationship with now two daughters. He gets very irrational. Resorts to yelling a lot. Which results in crying. A lot. He doesn't notice things. A lot of things. Because the anxiety has made him check out.
So I know having been through this twice before that my previous interventions weren't successful.
This time I have a family pep talk. About love.
"Baby, mama and daddy are going to be a bit stressed this month ok? So here is what we're going to do to deal with it. We're going to love each other. So if you and daddy have a disagreement first you're not going to hit yourself right?"
"Right!" And then she smiles.
"Daddy is going to just take some time if he's really upset, okay? And I'll also help him and see if he's hungry or tired or of he just needs some time alone. Same with you, okay?"
"Yeah!" My daughter enthused, "and if mama is cranky I'll just ask you if you're tired or hungry or need some time alone." She gestures to me for emphasis, as if she is presenting me with a gift. Which it is.
"And do you know why? Because we love each other, that's why."
Here my daughter again made me marvel at her: "Yes!" She exclaimed, "because the whole world is full of love! And we love each other and everybody! Yea!" She twirled around on the floor to make her point and then proceeded to make the fatso giggle.
She was beaming the rest of the evening.
Goodness. I just don't know where this little one comes from. I just don't.
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